Dissonance

Dear Dad, your work requires you to travel all the time. I understand the need to, but I hope you can also think of settling down soon and enjoy the golden years of your life with the family.

Dear mom, sorry that I did not write to you on your birthday. It's ironic to call it a birthday. It's more like a date to remember you. Thought of dedicating a short post for you on that day but I just keep putting it off.

Dear Ah Ma, sorry that sometimes I seemed to take what you did for granted. It wasn't easy for you I know, to take care of our family, with Jolin being rebellious and the maid hating you.

Dear Jolin, Jason, and Joanne, sorry that I am too caught up with myself and my friends that I forgot to spend more time with you all, to at least catch up and keep in touch with what's happening in my siblings' lives.

I found that my life is at a dissonance. I always hold my family dearest and closest to me, but recently my actions belie me. Procrastination, my worst enemy. Better turn things around before I regret it.  

23rd Birthday: A new aspiration

Today is my birthday, on a Sunday! Nevertheless, I've decided to keep it low profile, especially on facebook. It's amazingly simple, just hide your date of birth and the only well-wishers are those who truly remember your special day. 

My birthday wish? I guess the person who can grant me this wish is no one else but myself. 

Please make me a wiser person, because I've seen myself blessed with many opportunities and resources, yet only to see them underutilized and pass right under my nose. There are many things in the past that I could have done better. I want the wisdom to manage what I have. 

Please make me a more outgoing person, a person with a more cheerful disposition, a person who can slide comfortably into parties, events, and gatherings. Grant me the gift of the gab, make me a social butterfly, because it is actually very lonely to be invisible, to be just an observer all the time.   

Please grant me more knowledge, because to know is to feel empowered, and the world is actually an interesting place that excites all the senses. Travelling, cooking, gardening, keeping a pet, football, cars, playing a musical instrument, money management, photography, oh these are just a few. How I wish for the time to learn about all these.  

I'm tired of living in a golden cage, I'm tried of living in my comfort zone, to toil away in a straight line defined by the society and expect life is just that. Only when time wears away will I realized how much about life I have missed. Am I living every moment my life to the fullest?

And so ends my moment of self-reflection and introspection.     

It's 3 month into my working life, and my 5th week since my handover to Area 2. I could not have been blessed with a more pleasant environment where the learning opportunity is rich and abundant. People here are nice and not selfish with their knowledge. Hmm..but I still need to learn how to fit in with them, to become part of the team that they can appreciate. Visibility, that's the word. 

Here comes the cheesy line: Wishing myself a Happy 23rd Birthday!

I wish for nothing more than to become a better person everyday. 

Material stuff on my birthday you said? Oh, I don't need to wait until my birthday to wish for those things. I do long for a DSLR camera though, preferably before my trip to Australia this December. Well, more research need to be done before I spent a chunk of money on that.    

That's wrap. Let's hope I will frequently update my blog after this.