Ramadhan

The holy month of Ramadhan has begun for some time for my Muslims friends. Indeed, to fast the whole month is not easy. I admire their strength, because to go hungry is still bearable, but to ignore the clawing thirst at their throats everyday for the whole month, that requires pushing one's will to the limit.

Being invited to buka puasa at one my friends' house, I have thus challenge myself to a day of fasting too so that it will be more meaningful. I have thought the only real trial today would be sitting through the Heat Integration test with the aching thirst, but never would I expect myself to come down with a fever. For now it has not developed into a fever yet, but the tell-tale signs are there. The incessant coughing, which only worsen my need for water, the neck and forehead warming up while the fingers and toes are cold, i woke up for sahur today in a miserable mess. Of all the days to get sick, it has to be today?

So the odds are not in my favor, but never mind, I will try my best to tide through this. The feeling of achievement will be many times greater with the extra odds stacked against me. About me being sick, let's just say I have not been responsible with my health lately. Unhealthy meals, staying up late to finish my work, no fruits, and less exercises, it's not surprising I turned out like this. I just wish I have my Austrian lifestyle back, where I am in control of my life, my schedule and the places I can go.

Today will be a tough day ahead. Even when I'm done, sure I might deserve a pat on the back, but it's nothing to be too proud of. If I sincerely wish to fast, I would have done so without needing a reason to, and without glorifying it to the whole world so that they can heap praises onto me, which I'm trying to keep a minimum here. No, it would be silent, a challenge I embark on my own, where my temptations will be the contenders. In the end, it's just a battle with the devil inside of me. That's how it should be done.