Monday, December 29, 2008

A small family issue

Tonight the whole family went out for dinner at a seafood restaurant. It was a request from my sister, who had want to savour her favourite seafood dish- crabs. But things didn't go quite smoothly tonight.

It was our first experience dining there. The place was crowded and we were lucky to find a spot. Upon surveying the menu, there's only 2 choices for the crab dishes:
1) Salted fried crabs
2) "Niu you" or buttered crabs
I translated the menu from Chinese so excuse me if they sound weird.

Speculating that the buttered crab might be too oily with the excessive sauce, we decided to order the the salted fried crab. While waiting, we also ordered several side dishes: fried noodles and mixed vegetables with yam. Finally, when the main course arrived, everyone tucked into the meal.

I found the crabs delightfully tasty. It tasted like salted egg but goes well with the crab meat that is soft and tender. My parents also gave their "thumbs up" and agreed with me too.

But surprisingly, my sister hates it!
She explained that she dislike that kind of "saltiness" and she had this personal distaste towards salted egg and anything that taste like it. So after only eating only a small portion, she stopped eating and just sat there sulking (even though she pretended not to, but her expreession says it all).

I was shocked and somewhat irritated by my sister's behaviour as well.

What's with that attitude? Here we are, everyone sitting together enjoying a good meal but you have to spoil it by sitting there sulking along. The least you can do is try to eat. It's not your favourite dish but it's not poison either! So please show some gratitude to our mom and dad who are willing to spent the time out with us.

Of course I kept that all in mind. It's no use quarreling at the middle of a meal and further worsen the situation.

In the end, my parents and I finished everything up. It was a lot, considering that we ordered a large size dish as we thought my sister would be eating the lion's share.

On the way home, there was an ominious silence in the car. Despite my sister previous show of disrespect, she is not totally an insensitive person. She did realised that she was in the wrong.

She explained once again that the dinner was not her cup of tea and she still prefer the good old "Fatty Crab House" which we frequently patronised and had been our family's favourite dining outlet. Finally, she did apologised, not directly like saying "sorry mom and dad" (generations nowadays don't do that) but using a rather long-winded approach which at the end we still get the message.

And that's how things end and luckily all is forgiven and forgotten. Of course my mom did reprimanded her (with mostly what I mentally said just now) and dad (cool, calm, and collected as usual) brushed it aside by saying that it's good to "experiment" and "survey" at new places occasionally so we'll gain the experience and know which outlets is the best. In a sense my dad is right. Nothing ventured nothing gained!

Looking back, I found these kind of scenarios familiar in the family.

One of my siblings will be the "trouble-maker" or causing the problem. Usually this only involves my youngest sister and my younger brother. My sister and I rarely argued. Heck, we both live in our own world and mind our own business.

Then my mom will be the "problem-solver" who solve the conflicts. Those who are at faults who get a good scolding and need to bear with the 'music'.

Finally, my dad would be the "savior" who always stands on neutral ground and embraces those who need some comfort. Daddy is always the "good guy" who panders to their whims and demands.

To sum it up, both my parents play important roles. You can't have someone lashing out at you for every fault at all times, yet you can't have someone spoiling you to a point where you never get scolded even when you're wrong. In other words, my parents complement each other. Harmony. I'm proud to be a part of this family. :)

What is my role? Perhaps when both mom and dad are mad, there's always Big Brother who can help and lend you a shoulder to cry on. ;)

2 comments:

Steward Baba said...

This thing is normal. Everyone has their own "kuan". haha... If me, usually I will just voice out on the spot, not to quarrel. Just tell him off directly. My parents may scold me for what I did but all I want them to do is to show some respect.. (even tho I myself cannot behave because no one is there to correct me) Guess being the eldest is quite hard role. keke...=)

I never apologise directly to my parents. But never be long-winded, I will SMS them how sorry I am or may be writing a letter. just to say, this is my way la.

WK Chua said...

Ya, same with me. I'll feel awkward if I walk up and apologised straight to my parents. Surprisingly for me it is easier to apologise to a friend than to a family member. Maybe because I'm the eldest so I have this kind of 'ego' and feel tat I'm right all the time and need to maintain my status. Haha. Hope my siblings dun make me as a role model. I'm not worthy of it yet. :P